We believe that all residential students have some basic rights when it comes to their living environment. While each student's living preferences vary to different degrees, we believe that each student has the right to the following:

·         The right to study free from undue interference in one's room. Unreasonable noise and other distractions inhibit the exercise of this right.

·         The right to study free from undue interface in one's room. Unreasonable noise and other distractions inhibit the exercise of this right.

·         The right to sleep without undue disturbance from noise, guest of a roommate, etc.

·         The right to expect that a roommate will respect personal belongings.

·         The right to live in a clean, safe, and healthy environment.

·         The right to free access to one's room without pressure from a roommate.

·         The right to privacy.

·         The right to host guest(s) with the expectation that guest(s) are to respect the rights of the host's roommate and other residents in the community.

·         The right to settle conflicts. Residence Hall Directors (RHDs), Graduate Assistants (GAs), and RAs are available for assisting in settling roommate conflicts.

·         The right to be free from fear of intimidation, physical, and emotional harm.

·         The right to expect reasonable cooperation in the use of the "room shared" items (telephone, refrigerator, bathroom, sink, television, etc.).

To this end, we also believe that there are certain responsibilities that each student must adhere to in order to maintain a positive and successful living environment.

·         To respect one another's privacy

·         To respect themselves and others

·         To communicate openly with their roommate and discuss potential conflicts before they get out of hand

·         To keep their living space neat and clean

·         To lock doors and maintain personal/possession safety

·         To maintain a comfortable environment for sleep and study purposes

·         To treat one another's possessions with care and ask before borrowing personal items

·         To respect differences

·         To compromise

·         To enlist the help of residence hall staff when a difficult roommate issue arises

·         To be kind and civil with no intent to harm

·         To check with one another before having guests

·         To pass on messages to their roommate in a timely manner

·         To abide by all OHRL rules and regulations

One of the best ways to help set some ground rules between you and your roommate (or suitemate/apartment mate) is to have a Roommate Agreement. A Roommate Agreement is a document set in place to help establish rules like at what time do you agree to set aside for studying and how do you go about borrowing our roommate's belongings. It is imperative that when negotiating the Roommate Agreement that students be open and honest with what they expect and to refer to the above rights and responsibilities. For example, if you know that you need complete silence in order to study effectively, communicate that expectation at the beginning.

We understand that not all of our students come with the skills necessary to effectively negotiate a Roommate Agreement, so we have the following processes set up:

Freshmen Buildings (Rogers, Gresham, Whitehurst, Scotland, and England): In these buildings, all students are required to complete a Roommate Agreement. These will be facilitated by the Resident Assistants (RAs) of each floor and they will walk the students through the process and actually sit down with them at the time the agreement is negotiated.

Sophomore Buildings (Powhatan Village, The Inn, France, England, Virginia, Ireland, Dominion): In these buildings, all students are required to complete a Roommate Agreement. Sophomore students will have to complete these agreements on their own, but the RA staff is available to assist if needed.

Independent Living (University Village and Nusbaum Apartments): In these buildings, we strongly encourage students to complete the Roommate Agreements, however, it is optional. We expect at this point in students' lives, that they be able to manage this independently, however, we do have staff available if students need assistance.

While no one expects that you and your roommate will immediately be best of friends and maintain that relationship throughout your life, there are some things that you generally want to keep in mind when interacting with your roommate to establish a positive relationship.

Confidentiality. When living in close quarters with another individual, you will inevitably learn things about them that they may not want shared with the whole world.

Guests. Living in a residential community provides a lot of opportunities for socialization and time for simply "hanging out" with friends and significant others. Please be respectful when inviting anyone over to your room. You don not want your roommate to be uncomfortable with what you and your friends may be doing and do not want to disturb their privacy and space. This issue becomes especially important when it comes to a significant other. While it is understood that you are all adults here, be sure to keep private activities private.

Ask. Many of issues can be avoided if you simply ask your roommate before acting. For example, if you want to borrow something from your roommate, ask before you take it. If you want to have a friend over late at night, ask before you invite them. If your roommate leaves clothes all over the room, ask them to pick the items up before you just assume the reason.

Clean up. The majority of roommate conflicts surround the issue of cleanliness. Leaving dirty clothes on the floor is enough to set some individuals into a frenzied and stressful state of mind. You need to be conscientious about the fact that this is a shared space and you should not leave items around or leave messes (such as dirty dishes) that might inhibit your roommate's rights in the space or impact his/her general health.

Responsibility. Simply put, take responsibility for yourself. Do not break policies or procedures in your room as it may also have negative an impact on an unsuspecting roommate. As you both share the space, you share the consequences as well. It is unfair for your actions to unintentionally result in consequences for your roommate who may not have had anything to do with the violation.

Believing that you will be able to go through your entire time living on campus without a roommate conflict is an unrealistic expectation/belief. Chances are, there will be multiple conflicts between you and your roommate, but that is normal and natural. What has the most impact is how you respond when you are in conflict and how you work towards resolution. While it is sometimes easier to avoid the conflict altogether, this has no positive outcomes and tends to create more stress and anxiety for yourself in a problem, and does not resolve the actual problem. Here are some suggestions on how to effectively resolve conflict with your roommate:

Roommate Agreement. Stick to what you have previously agreed to. This is a living document and can be re-negotiated as necessary by all parties, but it is imperative to stick to this document to avoid problems. If something was previously agreed to and needs re-worked, talk with your Resident Assistant (RA), Graduate Assistant (GA), or Residence Hall Director (RHD) for assistance.

Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! There is nothing more effective in dealing with conflict than communication. Allowing situations to boil and fester just creates further hostility to a point where you cannot take it anymore and handle a situation in an inappropriate and deconstructive way. Effective communication takes a lot of patience and skill, so be appropriate when you are communicating with your roommate during conflict. If you are unsure how to appropriate address a conflict, consult your RA, GA, or RHD.

Verbally attacking another person closes the door for communication and resolving issues, so try to use 'I' statements. For example, "I feel that you don't respect my privacy when you have guests over all of the time," versus, "You are inconsiderate and don't care about me." It is also important to talk about the issue at hand and not to make judgments on the other person. For example, "I understand that hanging out with your friends is important to you, but can we work out a compromise of how often that happens in our room?" is way better than, "I hate that you always have your friends over. It's my room too!"

Positive Reinforcement. While you may be irritated with your roommate during a conflict, do not let it overshadow the good times. If you are confronting your roommate with a conflict, it is a good idea to throw in some positive parts to the conversation so that your roommate does not feel attacked and become defensive. Statements like "I really appreciate that you do not turn on the lights when you come in late, but if you could please also try to be a little quieter as well I would be grateful," or "I really like that we are able to share each others clothes, but if you could please try to return them to me clean that would be great."

Compromise. Sharing with anyone requires a certain level of compromise. Living with another individual is no different and generally requires a lot of compromise. If you approach a roommate with an issue, think about a compromise before you start the conversation so that you have a plan. Don't always be the one giving something up or looking the other way, but compromise is a healthy way to resolve conflict. For example, if you have an issue with your roommate being noisy when you are trying to study, maybe the compromise is that some nights you go to the library or study lounge and other nights they hang out in the floor/building lounge to allow you to study in the room.

Mediation. Sometimes just having a 3^rd party makes all of the difference in helping to maintain a certain level of perspective. When you are frustrated or angry, it is common for you to only consider your perspective on the situation. In turn, you assume your roommates are at fault for everything, which may not be an accurate assumption as assumptions are not always accurate. Your RA, GA, or RHD will also be happy to help mediate the situation with you.

Regardless of how much time and effort is put forth to maintain a positive relationship with your roommate, there may be times when a resolution cannot be reached through our office. In these situations, we present students with three options:

Voluntary Room Change. We will present the students involved the option of relocating to another space on campus (space permitting). If one student volunteers to move out to gain resolution, we will try to honor that request and find him/her with an alternate assignment. Prior to approving the request, your GA or RHD may ask the following questions:

·         What was the catalyst in this current situation that made for irreconcilable differences?

·         How will you work to ensure that these same circumstances do not follow you to your new space?

·         What changes will you make in your attitude and behavior to ensure a new successful living environment?

·         What have you learned about yourself from this situation and how will you apply it to future situations and conflict?

Formal Mediation. If both students agree, we will arrange for formal mediation through the Student Ombudsperson Services Office. This process contingent upon both students agreeing to the mediation as it would not be effective to have forced mediation.

Administrative Room Change. If one student does not voluntary request to move and formal mediation is not agreed to, the hall staff may impose an administrative room change for all individuals involved. It is not our policy to choose sides in a roommate conflict as we are here to serve as a resource for all students. In this situation, both students will be required to move to another location on campus.

When students change rooms due to irreconcilable differences, our staff will take some extra steps to ensure that similar problems do not resurface in the new living arrangements. Students (regardless of class) will be required to complete a Roommate Agreement and staff will check on them periodically to ensure that similar circumstances are not occurring.

During the beginning of each semester, we provide students the opportunity to request a room change (based upon availability). This period of time (usually the 3^rd and 4^th week of the semester) is the only time during the academic year that we allow students to request to move. These changes are typically the result of meeting new people that would be a better match, an opening in a hall that they would rather live in, or various other reasons. We do attempt to meet these requests, but ask that students understand that these are simply requests and we cannot honor requests for which we do not have the space to accommodate. Our office is sensitive to the fact that situations may present themselves which require an immediate change to ensure the safety and security of residents. In these situations, special arrangements will be made by our staff.

In order to submit a room change request, students must meet with their Residence Hall Director or Graduate Assistant to discuss the reasons. Depending upon the reason, the RHD or GA may, or may not, be able to approve the request. Students who request a room change due to roommate problems will be referred to the above process and be asked to mediate the situation. As space is sometimes limited, room change requests may not be readily approved and students may have to wait a period of time. If a student moves to a different building on campus that has a different agreement period, they will be held to the conditions of the new agreement (for example, moving from Whitehurst to Scotland comes with an increase in housing charges; moving from VA House to the University Village comes with an increase in housing charges and a different agreement period). It is always a good idea to take a look at your current agreement to understand any changes associated with a room change.

We understand that each student is different and unique and that additional resources may need to be available to help each be as successful as possible. Please visit some of the following links to gain more knowledge and skills around living with a roommate and dealing with conflict:

·         College Roommate Conflicts

·         How to Head Off Roommate Problems

·         Roommate Face Off: How to Avoid a Dorm Divorce

·         Roommate Chores and Privacy

·         Resolving Conflict Rationally and Effectively